Return to Running

While I’ve been doing normal things like cooking (Coconut red curry noodles):

Coconut curry rice noodles

and going to fun concerts,

Dmb

I’ve really been sort of struggling with just not feeling like myself.  I’m still kind of feeling out of sorts still from the miscarriage (more mad/frustrated than sad lately), but I realized that it’s also because there’s been another thing missing from my life.  Running.

Truth be told, my running has been sporadic since my last half-marathon, which was back in March.  I’d been running 3 miles a couple times a week since then but not usually any more.  After I found out I was pregnant, I sort of stopped running all together.  I’m not sure if it was just in my head, but running felt harder, so I rationalized that I could stop doing it.  We did a 5K in the beginning of November, but I didn’t run for time at all.  And that was really the last time I ran more than a mile or so.

After the miscarriage, I was told that I couldn’t do any sort of activity for two weeks.  For the first week, I didn’t do anything but that second week, I did some low-impact stuff and on Monday, I ran a little bit, but was sort of scared, so I didn’t really push it.  I had a follow-up appointment yesterday and my doctor said that everything looked healed and I was cleared for activity.  So today I decided to run.

I wish I could tell you that I hopped back on that treadmill and ran and it was glorious.  But it wasn’t.  It sucked.  I’m out of shape!  Plus I had a bad stomachache. (It was not related to the running; it was from these coconut almonds that I had eaten earlier in the day, I think.  Apparently, rebiana bothers my stomach too.  And anyway, they tasted like sunscreen.)  I had to take a bunch of walk breaks.  Seriously.

Treadmill

I used to be able to run over 3 miles in that time.  And while the running sucked, for the time that I was doing it, I was focusing on the running sucking. I wasn’t focusing on being sad or pissed off or anything.  I was focusing on why this felt so difficult and cursing the treadmill.  And also cursing people out who kept stepping on my jacket.  Well, in my head at least.

Lee gym

And you know what, after it was done, as much as it sucked, I really did feel like myself.  If it had been easy, I probably wouldn’t have.

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9 Responses to Return to Running

  1. So proud of you!!! Let me know when your ready for weights. :)

  2. Glad you got back to it, even if it did suck and not feel too great. I bet it will be feeling even more normal again soon and a great stress/emotional release.

  3. It always takes a while to get back to where you were, but I’m glad the run did you some good!

  4. The first run after awhile always sucks for me too :( And this week it has sucked while I’ve beeen traveling as I’ve been cursed with sidecramps, go figure. I hope you continue to feel more and more yourself. I have been thinking of you!

  5. It always sucks to get back to running after a break, so much harder than your head thinks it should be. it will come back. And I agree – even when it sucks, it makes me feel better. :)

  6. Sunscreen almonds definitely sound like a recipe for a stomachache.

    Glad to hear you felt like yourself! Hopefully little things like running a bit (and cursing the treadmill ;]) will slowly help you get back to that place. I’ve fallen off the running wagon my fair share of times and it definitely comes back to you. For me it is kind of a “well, I’ve done this before in the past so I know I can work back up to doing it again!” You’ll be back to your old running ways in no time.

  7. Good for you Lee! Everyday, you find a little more of yourself. I’m glad you back on the treadmill though. Sounds like a good physical and mental cleanse!

  8. My heart is still with you! Glad to hear you’re getting back to some of your favorite activities. GREAT starting point! Keep at it

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