In the past couple of years, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to tell the difference between intuition and worry. For me, it’s a very blurred line. I suffer from anxiety issues, so I worry about everything and it’s very hard for me to tell if my intuition is telling me something or it’s my anxiety. When I got pregnant with Alexander, I was SURE that I was going to have another miscarriage. I was SURE that when we went for our first ultrasound, there wasn’t going to be a heartbeat. Obviously, I was wrong. So when I began to question things about Alexander’s development, the intuition vs. worry thing came up again. I didn’t know whether to trust whether or not my fears were warranted or not, but my intuition did tell me to at least get it checked out.
Each state has an Early Intervention program. The idea is that if you have a child with some sort of syndrome or issue (ie Down Syndrome and the like) or if they have been evaluated as having developmental delays, by getting them early intervention, you can sometimes help them catch up. In order to qualify for the program, your child has to be evaluated by a team. They test them in five areas. If they find (at least in GA, not sure how it works elsewhere) him to be severely delayed in one area or moderately delayed in two or more, the qualify for services.
I kind of had it in my head that he wouldn’t. I don’t know why considering I’m the one that voiced my concerns about his development and got the ball rolling on testing him. They determined him to be severely delayed in feeding (I knew this), communication and motor skills. The motor skills one surprised me. Sure, he isn’t walking, but he’s still within the normal range for that. He scored normally in personal/social and cognitive. And if I’m being totally honest, the personal/social area (he’s friendly and smiley) didn’t surprise me but the normal cognition did.
So, now we wait and see what happens. They’ll assign us to a case worker (that’s probably not even the right term – I’m new to this) and we’ll get therapy for him. I don’t know how often or what kind even. We have to wait a couple of weeks for all that.
This sucks. It really fucking sucks. I hate to be all, “Why me, why us?” but I can’t help it. And what makes matters worse is that I just don’t know if there’s an underlying issue or not. No one knows. He’s been tested for all sorts of things but nothing comes back abnormal. I feel like if he had some sort of diagnosis, I could process it, meet other mothers with kids that have the same diagnosis. But we don’t know. It’s just a big mystery but he is definitely delayed.