Author Archives: Lee

Developmental Delays

In the past couple of years, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to tell the difference between intuition and worry.  For me, it’s a very blurred line.  I suffer from anxiety issues, so I worry about everything and it’s very hard for me to tell if my intuition is telling me something or it’s my anxiety.  When I got pregnant with Alexander, I was SURE that I was going to have another miscarriage.  I was SURE that when we went for our first ultrasound, there wasn’t going to be a heartbeat.  Obviously, I was wrong. So when I began to question things about Alexander’s development, the intuition vs. worry thing came up again.  I didn’t know whether to trust whether or not my fears were warranted or not, but my intuition did tell me to at least get it checked out.

Each state has an Early Intervention program.  The idea is that if you have a child with some sort of syndrome or issue (ie Down Syndrome and the like) or if they have been evaluated as having developmental delays, by getting them early intervention, you can sometimes help them catch up.  In order to qualify for the program, your child has to be evaluated by a team.  They test them in five areas. If they find (at least in GA, not sure how it works elsewhere) him to be severely delayed in one area or moderately delayed in two or more, the qualify for services.

Alexander qualified.

I kind of had it in my head that he wouldn’t.  I don’t know why considering I’m the one that voiced my concerns about his development and got the ball rolling on testing him.  They determined him to be severely delayed in feeding (I knew this), communication and motor skills.  The motor skills one surprised me.  Sure, he isn’t walking, but he’s still within the normal range for that.  He scored normally in personal/social and cognitive.  And if I’m being totally honest, the personal/social area (he’s friendly and smiley) didn’t surprise me but the normal cognition did.

So, now we wait and see what happens.  They’ll assign us to a case worker (that’s probably not even the right term – I’m new to this) and we’ll get therapy for him.  I don’t know how often or what kind even.  We have to wait a couple of weeks for all that.

This sucks.  It really fucking sucks.  I hate to be all, “Why me, why us?” but I can’t help it.  And what makes matters worse is that I just don’t know if there’s an underlying issue or not.  No one knows.  He’s been tested for all sorts of things but nothing comes back abnormal.  I feel like if he had some sort of diagnosis, I could process it, meet other mothers with kids that have the same diagnosis.  But we don’t know.  It’s just a big mystery but he is definitely delayed.

Valentine’s Day (Observed)

We didn’t do much on Valentine’s Day.  We went out to dinner with Alexander in tow which isn’t exactly romantic or even relaxing.  We don’t have any family in the area and don’t have any go-to babysitters (Laura, can I have your sister’s email address or number?  Seriously.)  so date nights are few and far in between.

However, Jason’s parents offered to watch Alexander last Saturday night so we could go out.  And by out, we stayed overnight in a hotel in Greenville, SC, which is about 45 minutes from his parents house.  Alexander came down with a little cold on Thursday and I was worried that the trip would be off, but we decided to risk it and go anyway.  He wasn’t feeling like himself at all, but started to feel better Friday night, so on Saturday morning, Jason and I took off.

Big truck

(Nice ride next to us, huh?  Keep in mind that we’re in an SUV so that’s one umm elevated truck.)

We got to Greenville around 1 and the first order of business was lunch.  Obviously.  Food is pretty much always the first order of business.  We went to the Trappe Door, a Belgian bar/restaurant that we’d been to once before and liked.  We had a beer and then split two orders of mussels – the provencale and the Vietnamese.  I liked both but preferred the Vietnamese.

Trappe door beer

Trappe door mussels

It came with a bunch of different mayos but none for me, thank you.  Bleh.

After lunch, we did some window shopping and just walked around for a while before escaping the cold for a drink at The Lazy Goat.

River

Wine lazy goat

We quickly learned that we were totally out of practice for the whole day drinking thing and went back to the hotel to take a nap.  While we were sleeping, someone knocked on our door and brought us a nice surprise.

Westin strawberries

We had casually mentioned to the front desk that we were just in town for a kid-free late Valentine’s Day and these chocolate covered strawberries and small champagne bottle appeared at our door!  How nice is that?  Plus also, my alarm didn’t go off and if this didn’t arrive, we probably would have slept through dinner.

For dinner, we made reservations at Soby’s which was right across the street from our hotel.  I had some sort of southern vegetable plate which was pretty good.  The kale was the star of the plate and I wished I had more.

Sobys vegetable plate

Our server mentioned some dessert special and we had to try it.  It was a brownie with cherry and vanilla ice cream with bananas, pineapples and whipped cream.

Sobys dessert

So basically all we did was eat all day.  And I’m sure I gained like 5 pounds, but it was worth it.

When Your Kid is Behind

I was actually going to write another post about yogurts but then I thought, who really gives a shit about what I think of yogurt?  (chobani green tea – decent though my friend Emily hated it, stonyfield chia meh, chobani mix in with salted caramel pretzel good but mostly because of the mix in.)  So here’s something else I’ve been thinking about:

Alexander has always been on the late side of normal when it comes to meeting his milestones.  He sat up at about 7 months, army crawled for a long time but didn’t fully crawl until probably 9 or 10 months, pulled up at 10.5-ish months, didn’t start cruising until like yesterday (12.5 months).  All of it is well within the normal range, but it’s on the later side.  And I don’t know if it’s just my nature or everything we’ve gone through with him, but I am having a very hard time with this.  He’s still very small.  He was 16 and a half pounds on his birthday and his pediatrician seems to think there just HAS to be some sort of underlying reason for his size.  And maybe there is, maybe there isn’t and that’s hard.

We have someone coming to evaluate him from the state’s Early Intervention program on March 2nd or 3rd (I forget.)  Because I have no clue how much of his behind-ness is my anxiety, my doctor searching for the “reason” or just normal development.  So basically, some people will come to the house and observe him in five areas.  If they decide that he’s severely behind in one area or moderately behind in two, he’ll qualify for services.  I think maybe for free?  I’m unclear on that part.

I’m just confused.  Every day I feel differently about it.  Sometimes I feel like he’s making great strides and is just marginally behind and definitely will catch up and other times I feel like he’s going to end up being a special needs child.  And I know that I’ll love him no matter what (I feel like I have to say that because people always tell me that and duh) but it’s scary to think that your child might (or might not – can you sense that the not knowing is really the issue?) have learning difficulties/special needs, whatever you want to call it.  And it sucks.  It sucks having friends with babies the same age that are running around or talking or doing whatever Alexander isn’t doing.

I never read about this anywhere.  Everyone talks about their child when they’re advanced, but never when they’re behind.  And I guess it’s like his size, someone’s got to be on the tail-end. But you just don’t hear about it as much.  Especially when it’s a bunch of worry for naught, which is what I’m hoping this is.

Stroller

He does like yogurt though.

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