For a minute, I thought I was pregnant again. Really, for a couple of days. There was no real obvious reason for it, my period wasn’t even late. I was just having some “symptoms,” which are very similar to impending period symptoms. And I know that. But I tend to veer towards hypochondria, though I’m not sure if it’s considered that if you want it to happen. Anyway, I’m not pregnant but it sort of got me thinking about when I do get pregnant again, how much of it to share here in the beginning.
Even though some of my posts (like yesterday’s) are pretty simple and lacking any sort of depth, writing is therapeutic for me when I do have something to say. Because I had a miscarriage and also because of my general predisposition toward worrying, I know that when I do get a positive pregnancy test, I’m going to be a mess. I try to tell myself that I won’t and that bad things don’t happen twice, but sometimes they do and I know I’m going to have a hard time acting if all is normal in those early weeks when I’m not “supposed” to tell anyone.
I’ve thought about writing about it more here when it happens and I’ve thought about starting a private blog so I can just write for myself. Before I had the miscarriage, I was writing my thoughts down in a text edit doc. For me personally, it does help to read about others that have gone through similar things that I have. I obviously have not carried a child to term but I can imagine that those 9 months are a lot scarier after you’ve suffered a loss than when you haven’t.
This blog has always been a reflection of my life, though primarily through the avenues of food and workouts. I know I don’t have a lot of readers, but do you guys want to hear about stuff like this? (It’s okay if you say no.) And also, as I have a tendency to over-share, both here and it in real life, are there some things that I should just keep private?
Sorry for the brain dump. It’s better than some pictures of my dinner, right? (It’s not okay to say no to that one. Just kidding.)
